Fijian boyfriend

Hi - I just want to ask about travelling in Fiji (main island VIti Levu) with my Fijian boyfriend. Before anyone makes any judgements - no he is not 20 - we are both late thirties and he does not need a visa! We are looking to hook up on the main island for a few days together but I am not sure if this will be seen to be 'appropriate' by the locals there? We are thinking about staying at First Landing resort - will it be uncomfortable for him or the staff that we stay there together? Of course I have asked him about this but he tells me it is no problem. Has anyone had a similiar experience? Thank you.

Thanks Childchi. Good point being that if he doesn't see a problem why should I. However my concern wasn't about being un married but that I am a white female and he is Fijian. People seem to automatically assume it is about money or visa here in Australia and I am wondering if that will be the case when we go to Viti Levu.

If he does not have a problem with it why should you. If you are going to stay at his parents house then maybe.

Fiji is just like any other country, where couples live together before marriage.

We spent 2 years in Lautoka (and are there right now) and we know many "mixed race" couples, both married and not.
I would suggest that there will be less bias here than in Oz.

Cheers,
Peter

Never ran into any problem with mixed race relationships in Fiji. If people assume anything negative, that's their problem, not yours. Have fun, it's a wonderful place.

I have seen so many mixed couples. Where is the problem?

Maybe mixed couples are a problem at the place where the OP usually lives ...Certainly not in Fiji though. But on the other hand - just recently I saw an official immigration form where I had to fill in my race. I didn't believe it. I wrote 'White' and they lectured me that it has to be 'Caucasian'. I would laugh, but its too sad ...

Wksamoa, I didn't see that on the landing card this year, but have had to fill it in on the previous 14 visits. They were check boxes, so you didn't have to make up a word to describe yourself :-) I agree, it is sad.

It was not in Fiji and I commend them for having it taken off. And any other country for not asking for it in the first place.

Aha, so that's why I didn't see it :-))

wksamoa. I would have thought Caucasian describes a race rather than white. I am black but I would never put that down as my race. I am a Fijian.

wksamoa. I would have thought Caucasian describes a race rather than white. I am black but I would never put that down as my race. I am a Fijian.

childchi, Caucasian is the incorrect term used to label a "white" man or woman. The word Caucasian refers to a person who is from the region of Caucasus, which is in Europe bordering Turkey and Iran. But these days it usually denotes white, on immigration/visa forms anyway.

I did some research. When this nonsense was made up in the late 1700s (!), they distinguished Caucasian, Negroids and Mongoloids. With Melanesians being Negroid and Polynesian being Mongoloid. Caucasian refers to the Caucasus, where the white people were supposed to have originated (maybe because Noah's ark stranded there). Negroids were named by the color of their skin (negro = black in Spanish). Mela refers to black in Greek, by the way. Mongoloid where looking like Mongols, weren't they? Very scientific, all this.
One could just laugh on it, if this rubbish would not have been used for so much suppression and still not be around, Because If it comes to origin, we are all African, for sure.
It's all nonsense - there are no races. Just different looking people.

The problem isn't the fact that there are different races in the human population.

The problem is that we humans have a nasty habit of attributing generalized traits based on race instead of individuals.

Give us another 1,000 years of unfettered mobility and the problem will take care of itself.

I fully agree. And I am optimistic that it will take less time to be achieved. This article I found during my research is already very encouraging:

It's all nonsense - there are no races. Just different looking people.

Pardon? Don't make the mirror-image 'racist' argument, denying the existence of differences to undermine a moral/ethical issue.

Any word can have multiple meanings, and these meanings can change over time. 'Race' can refer to a level in a hierarchical classification system. If a collection of any set of objects looks different (or differ in any other way imaginable), a classification system attempts to systematize those differences.

There are two issues related to 'race' that habitually get mixed and confused: (i) discrimination based on certain characteristics in situations, sometimes deemed inappropriate for moral/ethical reasons, and (ii) existing phenotypic/genotypic differences within species.

Mere discrimination based on characteristics is not in itself immoral, unethical or otherwise undesirable. It depends on context, which characteristics are being used for what purpose.

Skin color is a heritable trait, and living things (dogs, cats, humans) can be sub-classified on the basis of these characteristics. Trait variations would drift to peaks in the distribution if the members of the species do not mix. The very general classification is obvious to the naked eye, although the terminology was not precise, and in any case 'loaded' with social/cultural assumptions that could reflect discriminatory practices.

Of course there are heritable traits and its not by accident how people look different. But all research shows that color of the skin alone does not make a race yet. There is no bigger variation in other traits between white skinned people and non-white skinned people than between white skinned people alone. Whites are white and blacks are black and there is nothing more that one could conclude beyond that difference.

I do not assume that someone would regard a sub-classification of dogs and cats in the races Browns, Blacks and Whites as being meaningful. Would someone treat white horses different from black horses, just because of that difference?

There are different colors of skin and you inherited yours. Sure. But beyond that it does not mean a thing. Except of course that the color of the skin is one of two traits that you can clearly identify at birth already. The other one is physical gender. That allows discrimination from the first day on. And that's the only reason why it is noticed. So lets pay tribute to Nelson Mandela.

Edited by: wksamoa

I'll put it a different way. The issue of "race" (however you define it), and racial discrimination, is a manifestation of something else that is closer to the real problem. You don't identify and solve the problem with statements that race doesn't exist.

Remove skin color from the formula and people will use religious categories to go at each other, Shias vs. Sunnis, Catholics vs Protestants, Jews vs everyone else. Or you can have 'tribal' differences and the Tutsis and Hutus will have a go at each other. People will kick each others' heads in if they are aligned with different football clubs.

Pick any difference you want and some people seem more than willing to discriminate on that basis. That tendency is the problem.

When I read the original post I thought it was a good example of how easy it can be to create a racial problem where none in fact exists, simply by being (overly) sensitive to the possibility. It's ironic (to say the least) that the OP couldn't even take her boyfriend's word on the matter, and had to come to an anonymous forum for reassurance. Is the mixed relationship an issue? Contradictory as it may seem, it is an issue for the OP, if not for anyone else -- which she seemed to understand in post #2.

I fully agree. If its not the color of the skin, it will be shape or size of the nose or anything else. It might be an unavoidable side effect of human's ability to social interaction that identifying oneself with one group, based on whatever criteria, rather automatically implies the definition of the 'others' - most likely inferior to the own group. Because how could they be good when I'm not part of it ...

The latter is the problem. And, of course, when these kinds of categories are even included on official forms, i,e, immigration cards.Asking for age, gender, education level, profession and the color of the skin.

How did this topic get off the subject about staying at a hotel to discussing race? Are we a race-obsessed society?

#20.... read the original poster's questions