Tonga Trip Report "The Land of the Golden Teeth"

Part I: Tales of Tongatapu

"Come on, your majesty...It's time to clean up the rubbish!!!"
-comment seen in the Tongan Visitors Bureau guestbook.

I arrived in Tonga on Jan. 5, 2006 for a 3 week stay. The first impression of Tonga was it's delapidated and run-down airport. I was soon to realize the dusty, broken clock hanging the arrival hall would become a metaphor for this somewhat sad and misunderstood South Pacific nation.
Getting one's luggage proved to be no small feat in the ruinous baggage collection area. Airport "helpers" were taking everyone's bags off the carousel and placing them onto trolleys where they were promptly pushed to the back to make room for new trolleys. Because of this many folks stood around waiting for their luggage not realized it may well have been taken off without them seeing it. It was pandimonium with scores of people panicking, angry and frustrated trying to find their luggage.
Customs was a joke and they simply chose to ignore most people and waved them through. In spite of all this confusion and futile bag searching, it was in the end Air New Zealand that lost my bags and they weren't to be seen again for 4 days... A tale in itself.
I had booked accommodation at Toni's Guest House and the effervescent Villi was there to pick me up.
The road into town was a treat... I had not seen that many flowers anywhere in the S. Pacific as I have seen in Tonga... dozens of kinds of Bougainvillea just for starters... I also had never realized there could be so many empty tins, bottle and other rubbish lieing about.

Let's start by telling you that 1 Canadian dollar buys 1.8 Tonga Pa'anga.

Toni's Guest House: is okay and is certainly not a bad place to stay. There seemed to be all the usual suspect independant world travellers there ranging from the very young "I'm bulletproof and have all the world's problems solved", dreadlocked and tatooed crowd, to the wiser more sensible older travellers, the usual few eccentric and somewhat colourful single travellers to the jaded "I've been to Bhutan, Lithuania and Malawi and this is, like, so boring, so pass me that joint" crowd.
Toni's charges $20 Pana'anga per night. Rooms and toilets are basic but clean (and oh so green!!) The shared kitchen is spartan but tidy.
On a sad note, this establishment is a bit too far for a comfortable walk into town, and you'll be drenched and exhausted walking in the very hot and humid Tongan afternoon.
There were also a few too many crowing roosters, howling dogs, mating pigs and wretched choir singing (is this possible in the South Pacific? Apparently so in Tongatapu) for my liking and I would have preferred quiter.
On a very positive note, Villi will take you to and from town at your beckoning and Toni's island tour is excellant.
Unfortunately, I had arrived in Tonga with a miserable Canadian winter cold and opted for a bit more comfort while I got better.
I rate Toni's as stars out of five as a place to stay.

Harbourview Motel: By all accounts this may be your best "Bang for your buck" accommodation in Nuku'alofa. For $57.50 Pa'anga ($32 Can.) gets you a spotless single room with fresh towels, linens soap and shampoo. The toilets and showers are spotless (though down the hall) and the rooms all have coffee makes, phones and powerful ceiling fans.
One thing REALLY makes this place rock... and that is the wonderful continental breakfast. All the fresh papaya, pineapple, bananas and watermelon you can eat along with various cold cereals (Wheatabix, yay!!), toast, juices tea and coffee...all beautifully presented.
The staff here is also lovely and very friendly! A great place to stay only a 25 minute walk from the Nuku'alofa town centre and is right next to several bars and restaurants on Vuna Road.
Staying here for me was a splurge..for many of you it won't be anything exciting, but for Tonga, it is a really good deal. I give it * 1/2 stars out of 5 as a place to stay.

Some places to eat:

The Billfish: Conveniently next to the Harbourview motel, the Billfish caters to tourist, locals and expat Kiwis and Aussies working in Tonga. Also judging by the dozens of sailfish and marlin bills mounted on the wall, a good number of sport fisherman hang out here too.
Ikale, the local and not so bad brew, goes for $3 Pa'anga a mug and the food is good and the menu fairly extensive. Staff is very friendly. Try their excellant chicken curry or burgers. There is also a band here at the weekends and Karaoke some nights. A good place to hang out and meet some interesting people....like the weird line trawler from American Samoa (who looked like Sonny Bono) and his Philippino crew, the drunk, chain-smoking actress from Canada and the wild-eyed socialist lawyer from NZ.
It was also fun to listen to the 2 "Fakaleities" (transvestites) who worked in kitchen have a cat fight one night... smashing dishes and screaming... just like in the movies. No one in the place even batted an eye as the china and crystal flew (along with some hair and fingernails).
There are lots and lots of Fakaleities in Tonga... way more than in Samoa, Tahiti or Rarotonga.

La Terrazza Restaurant: Carlo and his wife are from Genoa originally and have done a great job of transplanting Italian ambiance to Vuna Road in Tonga... not only are the "Ciau Bella's!" genuine, the food's not bad either (a bit pricey for what you get.. mains do not come with salad or toast). The Lasagne at $20P may seem pricey, but there was enough there for 2 people. You'll love sitting out on the terrace (The restaurant was aptly named) and watching all the action below in Tonga land. Beer and wine are expensive... drink your Ikale at the Billfish.

Lilly Restaurant: Okay Chinese, but the staff were surly. Better food, service and value is further up Vuna road closer to town at the Emerald Restaurant.

Friends Cafe: Since there are so few travellers at any given time in Nuku'alofa, everyone's paths will eventually cross at the Friends. Friends could be a cafe anywhere in the world... Sydney, San Francisco or Vancouver so don't expect anything original or Tongan. The food (and coffee) are first rate but the prices may be a shock for the budget traveller. The cakes and pastries here beckon. And the cool jazz on the stereo sounds really odd and out of place considering the surroundings. Have the banana shake here.....Yum!! Over all good, but expensive for Tonga.
There is also a traveller's centre next door... The have fast (fast is a relative term in Tonga) internet and the helpful folks at the desk can arrange all kinds of tours and dispense good Tongan travel advice. Don't buy the incredibly overpriced souvenirs, postcars, books etc. here... The market is much, much cheaper as is the Friendly Islanders bookshop up the street.

Cafe Escape: In a new complex by the new cinema in the town centre. More "restauranty" and not as trendy a place as the "see and be seen" Friend's, but the Dianna Krall on the stereo, menu and the white and gold toothed staff are similar... They do a fine cooked breakfast here.

Nuku'alofa Market: Come to the centre of town for all your fruit, veggies and souvenirs. (the beautiful carved Tikis and Turtles are a steal at 5$ P) The selection of produce is the best I've seen anywhere in the Pacific and the vendors are friendly and talkative here... It's a really good Tongan experience. You'll marvel at the heaps of Tongan watermelon, veggies, local baking etc. There are many perimeter stalls selling everything form 2nd hand clothes to toilettries, cosmetics and household items... and a huge selection of souvenirs and handicrafts for the folks back home.

Some things to do in Tongatapu:

Go to Pangaimotu island for the day... just 2 kms offshore is Gilligan's islands with a great beach, excellant snorkelling and good facilities. The restaurant serves up good nosh that's not too expensive and it's a nice place to laze in the tropical sun. The 20 walk around the island is good fun. On the downside, they charge a fortune to get to and from the island 15$P... Quite a racket when you think of the small distance.

Go on Toni's day tour of the island.. You'll see some nice beaches, interesting historical locations, Polynesian culture, blowholes and my favourite the cliffs and rock arch area... what a beautiful little beach below and we saw dolphins, manta rays in the sea and the air was alive with Boobies, Frigatebirds, Fairy terns and tropicbirds... A delightful spot.

The Tongan Cultural Centre... a great evening here with a kava ceremony, incrdible dancing and singing and the most amazing feast you've ever seen... all for $25 P.

My Impressions of Tonga in the first days:

The rubbish: It's deplorable, actually. You have never, ever seen such a littered place... inexusable and tiresome.

Friendly people: I really hate to generalize, but I found Tongans to be more friendly than Samoans and not quite as shy. Perhaps the fact that most Tongans seem to have a better understanding of English than some other pacific peoples and they are not yet jaded at all by palangi visitors could account for some of this.

The dogs: A big problem here as in Samoa (and in most of the 3rd world for that matter..Those of you who disagree need to go back to India, Mexico or Kenya again and have a look)

It was really, really hot and humid.... A few days in Nuku'alofa is plenty... Then get out of Dodge!!

Coming soon: Part II: The Slow Boat To the Ha'apai Islands.

Yours gratefully,
islandboi

Fascinating trip report islandboi! Thanks for taking the time to be so detailed; I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to Part II!

--B.

Thaks Greg! It's great reports - like this - that wets my appetite for adventure...and makes Janice cringe!

Fantastic trip report. Thanks for the hotel and restaurant lists.

Hurry up and finish part 2, can't wait.

Thanks, islandboi, a detailed, interesting and helpful report.

Good report, and funny!
I agree, get out of "Dodge" in about three days or so, and head up north.

Thanks Greg,

Looking forward to Part 11 - were you within earshot of the Basillica of St Anthony of Padua when they start ringing those bloody bells at 4 am?

Looking forward to any comments you may have about the current political situation, and the slow and laborious move towards a more democratic form of Govt.

(Also, for rubbish all over everywhere - I am sure that Tarawa would still be a clear winner!)

Rob

Great report, can't wait for part 2.

Islanboi - did you make it to the Vuna Bar on the docks for a cheap bear? After one beer at the Royal Pacific Hotel my friend, who lives in Nuku'alofa, and I decided we had enough of the posh life and set off for the Vuna Bar, where one could relax and people watch while trying to steer clear of flying bottles and fists. Boringly, none of the latter happened while we were there but we met some amazingly friendly drunks and had a great time.

No watsoff... I did not make it to the Vuna bar... but the entertainment in the Billfish that one night was enough to last a lifetime!! :)

Hey islandboy....
I just wrote in an other reply that I was in Tonga all of July (the kings birthday which I sneaked in to!!!)
Now I see that you go to Ha'apai too!
Can you please say Hi to Kepu Osai who is the sun of the cheap and friendly hostel there???
You'll probably meet him, he is a fun guy!
Thanx (I think...)

Forgot to add (as usual):

There were only two other patrons in the Vuna bar, both locals, already three sheets to the wind and when we arrived they promptly invited themselves to our table. One was from New Zealand but living in Tonga, the other, an older man complete in local attire with skirt and mat, being a local lawyer currently up on groping charges who thought the palangi he groped was my friend. She quickly put him straight, maintaining that she would have remembered being groped and she couldn't recall charging anyone with anything, not lately anyway. A well-known court judge, also well into his cups, was playing the trumpet on the bar stage at the time of the grope and had seen the whole incident but I've forgotten what side of the fence he was on. But what this little snippet of information was leading up to we will never know because we left soon after the tale was told, laughing hysterically. We wanted to check out Umbertos restaurant where the Tongan husband of her American friend often played guitar and sang for the dinner crowd. He was on stage that night and did his thing with his ukelele. I'm not normally much of a ukelele fan but this guy was fantastic; loved his rendition of Uke Leilei, or Little Flea.

good story, islandboi! you back in the toon, now??